i just feel so disappointed
in myself, in friends and in my family. Mostly myself, simply because i don’t have any particular talent in school, and i’m not skinny enough, and i don’t look like how i wish i did, and that really just kills me. i am also disappointed in myself because i have such low self esteem. which really doesn’t help the situation. and i’m sick. and i keep bursting into tears at the most inappropriate moments, like when i was just asking my mum if we could turn the air con on because it was getting really stuffy, and then the tears started pouring and i couldn’t make them stop. And i’m disappointed with my friends because they don’t understand how hard all of this is for me, mainly because they don’t know. I don’t tend to tell the anything about myself, so they must find me really boring most of the time. (another disappointment) they don’t seem to see how much i struggle with my body image, or they just don’t care. my parents are seriously oblivious. my mum, whenever i try to actually talk to her, which is normally late at night because i’m much better at talking at night, and she always complains about how tired she is so i just tell her its nothing. I’m to scared to tell her I’m sort of bulimic/anorexic orientated because i know she will go mental and hate me. I just do not know what to do.
